If You Spend $375 On This Used MTA Trash Can You Should Be Immediately Sent To The Sun

Every month, the cash-strapped agency features various items up for sale to anyone interested in “acquiring a little bit of NYC Transit’s history.” Now, at the very top of the auction site with bold red caps reading “NEW ADDITION,” is a very real and very used garbage can (here dubbed a “refuse canister”) that can be yours for a mere $375 (includes the $75 processing fee).

Here’s the MTA’s pitch: “Authentic, unique, and probably one of the most useful items in every home, work or office now can be yours. Hurry and grab this rare item which is available in limited quantity.”

It’s pay day and that might mean you’re pulling the trigger on a few things you’ve had your eye on. I’ve been waiting to buy sunglasses and a pair of Ultra Boosts for a while now. Well, whatever it is I hope to God you aren’t spending $375 on an MTA trash can.

I mean what is going on with your life if you’re buying a special limited edition used MTA trash can for your apartment. I feel like the venn diagram of people who have a billion bumperstickers on their car and the people who buy this trash can is the same. If you buy this you should be automatically flagged by the government and immediately deported off of this planet. I know $375 is not a lot of money to some, but you have to be spending that elsewhere, I don’t care how rich you are.

I love how they rebranded it a “refuse canister” making it seem like it’s so cool, from the future, and totally not an STD covered trash can that will more than likely reduce the amount of your years left on this planet by 20. You know how many homeless people have fucked on top of that trash can? A lot. A lot of homeless people. Buying this trash can is a suicide mission.